


Of Wrongs and Rights

by ThaliaClio



Series: Demons and Playmates [11]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Psych, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Tony Stark, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Extremis, Fix-It of Sorts, Healthy Relationships, Idiots in Love, Introspection, Lack of Communication, M/M, Natasha Is Compromised, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Not Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Post-Iron Man 3, SHIELD, Steve is Wrong but not Bad, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark is a genius, Trust Issues, What could have happened, well I think it's happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-03-17 21:11:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13667373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThaliaClio/pseuds/ThaliaClio
Summary: Steve doesn't think things through. Natasha is compromised. Sam has no idea what's happening. Tony and Shawn know better. Alternatively titled "Know Your Hand Before You Play It".We are all searching for someone whose demons play well with ours. - Unknown





	1. Phone Calls and Return Trips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets a phone call. Communication is key.

 

They’re halfway to the helicarriers when Natasha’s phone rings.

She freezes, hands tucked under her hair securing the pearl necklace of the WSC member she’s pretending to be. 

It rings again.

“You gonna answer that?” 

Sam’s the one to finally break the silence, the blatant confusion in his voice mimicking the look Steve knows is on his face.

Nobody has that number outside of the three people in the car right now. 

Steve’s never seen Natasha hesitate before. 

It’s halfway through the third ring before Natasha answers, putting it on speaker when Steve meets her eyes in the rearview.

_ “I swear to god if you three idiots are about to do what I think you’re about to do, I’ll kill you myself.” _

“...Stark?” Steve says, baffled.

_ “Of course it’s me, you fucking nitwit. Stop the car right now.” _

Steve meets Natasha’s eyes again and then glances at Sam who just shrugs helplessly. He’s never even met Tony, Steve remembers. He doesn’t take his foot off the gas.

Then the entire car shuts down. It rolls to a gentle stop in the middle of I95, and the honking horns behind them nearly drown out Stark’s next words.

_ “I’m the biggest technological giant on planet, my AI lives on the Internet, and my boyfriend literally controls technology with his brain. Why the  _ **_fuck_ ** _ were you three planning on dropping three helicarriers on top of DC instead of calling me?” _

And…

Oh.

All three of them freeze. Steve can’t look at anyone, not even the phone. He can barely hear any of them breathing.

“Tony, I--” Natasha starts from the back.

_ “Shut the fuck up,  _ **_Natalie_ ** _.” _ Stark’s snarl is audible through the phone, and Steve can’t stop his hackles from rising.

“Stark, that’s not h--”

_ “The helicarriers are offline now, and Jarvis and Shawn are compiling a list the names, locations, and missions of all HYDRA agents and the records of all current and past operations to be forwarded to Acting Director Hill, including the location of the Winter Soldier AKA James Buchanan Barnes. Go home.” _

Click.

Steve swallows hard. The adrenaline that had been racing through his veins for the better part of a week seems to have suddenly died out. His hands are shaking.

The car restarts by magic  _ (Spencer) _ and Steve starts driving, the honking horns fading behind them. Nobody says anything when Steve pulls onto the closest exit to turn back around.

“Well that was anticlimactic,” Sam finally mutters ten minutes later.

\--

Steve doesn’t go back the Avengers Tower right away, not that he could. He’s been living a shitty apartment in DC for two weeks now -- he was supposed to be re-stationed for a long term training thing with SHIELD, but he doubts that’ll happen now -- and he needs to pack. 

It doesn’t take him long; he doesn’t have much.

There’s a new email in his inbox; a booking for a flight back to NYC tomorrow morning. He texts Natasha; she has the same flight. Sam says he’s staying in DC -- it’s actually his home. 

He stares at that email for a long time.

Why hadn’t he called Stark? Why hadn’t Natasha?

He thinks and thinks and thinks and for the life of him can’t find an answer. The thought literally had never occurred to him. And that’s… bad. Really bad. He could have inadvertently killed hundreds of thousand of people if those helicarriers really had crashed in the middle of DC, like they planned. 

He hangs his head in his hands.

Shit.

\--

Natasha looks as tired as he feels when they sit next to each other in the empty first class cabin. Her beautiful face has lines that aren’t normally there and grey bags under her eyes. It looks wrong.

“What now?” He finally asks her, 30 minutes into their flight.

She looks at him and he sees regret. Doubt. 

She shakes her head and looks out the window for a long moment before she answers.

“We’re compromised, Steve,” she finally says, voice soft and tired. “We almost killed thousands of people. Would have killed hundreds of agents --  _ real _ SHIELD agents -- if we’d dumped those files for anyone to see. Because we didn’t even think to call Tony.”

And Steve… hadn’t realized that second part either. 

Because dumping those files online would have compromised every active mission and agent -- and all the retired ones too -- and they would have died for it. 

Because Steve and Natasha were compromised.

“I don’t know what happens now,” she finishes. 

Steve looks at his hands and doesn’t answer.


	2. Confrontations and Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha and Steve arrive at the Tower. Tony is a lot of things, but a liar isn't one of them.

Happy picks them up from the airport, his expression in direct contrast to his nickname. 

“Hey,” Natasha tries to greet when he opens the car door for them to slide in. He just side-eyes her and closes the door without answering.

He leaves the partition up the entire drive too.

Steve stares at his hands the entire time, and Natasha is grateful for it. She doesn’t know what she’d say to him if he asked her another question. She still doesn’t know what she’s going to say to Tony when they get to the Tower. 

When Happy opens the door again it feels like days have past, not an hour. He parked in the private garage under the Tower, and none of the familiar noise of New York is there to cut through the oppressive silence. It takes her too long to follow Steve out of the cab. 

Happy leads them to the service elevator in the back, still uncharacteristically silent and unwilling to even look at them as they go up to the penthouse. Steve hasn’t unbowed his head since the flight. The elevator stops and the doors open, Happy gesturing forward but not stepping out.

Natasha clenches her her shaking hands and swallows the lump in her throat and leads Steve this time. It feels wrong to have someone at her back. Even Steve.  _ (Especially Steve.) _

“Sirs are waiting for you in the common area,” JARVIS greets them, his tone cool and impersonal. Natasha can’t help but glance up. Steve flinches.

It feels like she’s walking to death row.

Tony is standing in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, silhouetted against the fading light of the city. He’s dressed in a different kind of armor, a slim cut slick black suit that costs as much as the car Happy drove them in. She can see the tension in his shoulders from across the room.

“You do know this isn’t actually a  _ Mission Impossible _ movie, right?”

Natasha’s head snaps to the side.

Shawn saunters in, clear plastic smoothie cup in one hand. He’s still in his pajamas, as best Natasha can tell, oversized grey sweatpants hanging off his heads and a Black Sabbath shirt she knows belongs to Tony. 

She bites her lip.

“Look, Stark, I--” Steve starts and Natasha closes her eyes.  _ (Wrong move.) _

“453,000 people,” Tony says quietly, silencing Steve all the same. “That’s how many people would have died yesterday.”

He finally turns around, and Natasha almost wishes he hadn’t. He looks  _ exhausted _ , twice as tired as she feels. She’d been expecting anger. Had been ready for it, to a degree. But this… this is  _ disappointment _ and it burns her, twists something in her stomach and chest in sickening knots. 

He sighs and deflates, turning to Shawn, expression almost pleading. Shawn sets down his smoothie and walks over to Tony, face soft and understanding. He runs a hand through Tony’s ungelled hair and lets his hand rest on the back of his neck for a long moment. It feels intimate, like she shouldn’t be here. 

Tony opens his eyes and nods and the pleading expression is gone, something harder in his face now. Shawn holds his gaze for another beat before letting him go, but he doesn’t step away, just angles his body so that he’s by Tony’s right shoulder facing them. When Tony turns back to her she notices a flash of something metal curved around the back of his ear, almost hidden under his hair. 

“Do you have anything to say?” he says quietly.

“We were compromised,” Natasha says just as softly. “ _ I  _ was compromised. I… Fury’s  _ dead _ and I  _ saw _ his  _ body _ and suddenly I didn’t know what to  _ do _ .” Her voice is shaking by the end and she has to hang her head to hide the mist in her eyes.

Her and Fury… they had a  _ complicated _ relationship. But more than anything she  _ trusted _ him. Clint may have been the one to bring her in from the cold, but Fury let her stay. Showed her she could do better. Taught her to want to be better. Seeing his body on a slab, cold and empty of all the things that made him a person had hollowed her out in ways she didn’t know she was still capable of feeling. 

She licks her lips and blinks back the tears, and when she raises her head Tony’s expression is softer than it had been. Shawn is frowning, expression distant and pupils blown. He blinks and looks back at Tony. Tony’s head snaps to look back, bewildered. They both look at Natasha and Steve at the same time.

“Fury isn’t dead,” Shawn says, all humor gone from his voice. He sounds gentle even as Natasha’s heart seizes in her chest.

“What?” Steve asks, voicing the question she can’t push past the lump in her throat.

“I can’t tell you how he did it,” Shawn says, still looking at Natasha  _ (that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know  _ **_how_ ** _ ). _ “But he’s alive. He’s at a blacksite run by fellow zombie, Agent Coulson.”

“ _ What?! _ ” Steve says again. 

Tony and Shawn both shift their gazes to Steve, and the softness in their eyes is gone again. 

“What about you, Rogers? Anything to say?” Tony asks, and she can hear the sneer in his voice even as her mind races.

_ (They’realivethey’realivethey’realivethey’re _ **_alieve_ ** _ ) _

_ (I’m going to kill them.) _

_ (How? Why? What?) _

_ (Why didn’t they tell me?) _

“I-” Steve cuts himself off, the muscle in his jaw ticking. “I was trying to stop HYDRA.” The vinegar in him suddenly seeps out and he can’t look anyone in the eyes again. “I was wrong. There was a better plan. You had a better plan.”

Tony sighs and pinches his nose, furrowing his brow. He looks up, frustrated but resigned too now. There’s something else in his expression Natasha can’t identify. She’s realizing that she doesn’t know Tony very well at all, never actually did. 

_ (I was wrong.) _

“Look,” he finally says. “The situation has been contained. Hill is already working on extracting HYDRA from SHIELD without alerting the higher ups on their end. We’re bringing in agents and relocating families and loved ones. I’m working on something that will help.” He sighs and stares at them, the weight of his gaze heavier than Natasha would have expected in the past. “You’re lucky we got there before you did or there would be no coming back from this. For any of us.”

“What now?” Steve asks, lost and so so young. Natasha forgets that he’s her age and has seen far less. “For us?”

Tony shrugs. “You guys don’t work for me. You work for SHIELD. What happens to you guys isn’t up to me.”

“What if it was?” Natasha asks. Steve reels back and stares at her. She’s surprised by her words too, though. Even more surprising is that she doesn’t regret asking.

Tony narrows his eyes. Shawn grins, knowing.

“Meaning,” he says flatly. He’s as unsurprised as Shawn is, but he isn’t going to make it any easier for her.

She swallows. “I can’t… I don’t want to stay at SHIELD.”  _ I can’t trust them, any of them _ , she doesn’t say. “What if what happened to me was up to you?”

“I’d sign you up for a psych eval and counseling and then integrate you into SI’s as of yet unnamed Security Division,” Tony says without hesitating.

“I’ve been petitioning to call it SWORD,” Shawn pipes up, still grinning.

“I think… I think I need to put my resignation in with Hill,” she says slowly. SWORD. She could maybe work with that. And of all the thing Tony is, a liar has never been one of them.

Tony shifts his eyes up to Steve. 

“I- I don’t know,” he stutters out, glancing between Tony and Natasha and Shawn. “I need to talk to Hill.”

“The offer is good for 48 hours,” Tony says, and Natasha hears it for the dismissal it is.

She grabs Steve’s arm and steers him back to the elevator, the doors opening just as they arrive. JARVIS lets them out on the Avenger’s floor, and Natasha and Steve don’t speak as they walk to their separate rooms. 

It isn’t until Natasha is alone in her bathroom standing under the warm shower that she finally cries. Heavy, ugly sobs that echo off the walls and tear up her throat. When she steps out thirty minutes later the first thing she does is send an email to Hill. It’s only one line.

_ I quit. _

Only then does she feel something like peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll! Inspiration is strong with this story.
> 
> Also -- I just realized that I started this series almost five years ago. Holy shit. That's... a long time. I feel so old. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!


	3. Rooftops and Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shawn won't let Tony brood. Talking about things is healthy.

Tony’s tinkering with a surprise when he gets a quiet  _ ping _ . Even after a month he can’t help but tilt his head to the left, as though that would help him hear better. 

_ Come to the roof _ .

The words don’t sound like Shawn’s voice or read like a text. He doesn’t quite know how to describe the way the implant transmits into his brain. It’s like a thought that isn’t his.  _ (Quick -- don’t think of an elephant.) _

Tony can’t respond -- not yet -- but he quietly tells JARVIS to save everything and close it down, and he knows Shawn knows he’s coming.

He takes the service elevator to the roof. He isn’t in the mood to see any of his… teammates  _ (friends? coworkers? beneficiaries?)  _ right now. 

The doors slide open quietly, and he suddenly realizes how late it is. The moon is hidden behind a thin layer of clouds, soft silver glow casting over the dim orange light of the city. Something tense in his chest loosens just a little.

“Over here.”

Tony turns at Shawn’s soft voice. He’s sitting on the ledge, feet dangling over the edge and a bag of blueberries in hand. He doesn’t turn until Tony climbs up next to him and takes the bag of blueberries. Shawn’s face is almost serious, but his eyes are twinkling and he has the carefully blank expression that means he’s waiting for everyone else to get the joke.

The knot under his ribs loosens a little bit more.

“Natashalie emailed Hill earlier,” Tony says, popping a berry in his mouth. “She’s going to take me up on my offer.”

“Absolutely,” Shawn says. “You have a better healthcare plan.”

Tony huffs out a laugh, amused despite himself. “Better PR, too.”

JARVIS  _ pings _ the implant --  _ Captain Rogers has left the Tower and is en route to SHIELD headquarters. _

The smile dies on his face, and Tony frowns. Shawn takes back the blueberries and throws one at his face. Tony only doesn’t flinch due to years of exposure. He catches the next berry in his mouth.

“Red, White, and Blonde doesn’t trust SHIELD,” Shawn says. 

Tony sighs and looks up. “He doesn’t trust me, either. Thinks I’m the lesser of two evils.”

“If we were going to go full evil we would definitely not be the lesser of anything. We’d have the world conquered in a week,” Shawn shoots back.

_ Less _ , JARVIS pings in.

Tony can’t not smile, but it fades quickly. “Probably. That’s also probably why he doesn’t trust me.”

Shawn throws a blueberry up and catches it, chewing slowly. “Maybe. But he’s also from the 40s. He thinks psychiatry is witchcraft and that aliens are on Mars.”

Tony knocks his shoulder against Shawn’s. “Stop being funny. I’m trying to brood over here.”

“I let you brood all day.”

“I just…” Tony stops, thinks. “It was almost  _ so bad _ . We were half an hour away from the death of almost half a million people and the end of any goodwill people have for Enhanced people.”

“Almost,” Shawn says. “Remember that -- it was  _ almost _ so bad. And almost only counts in horseshoes.”

“Yeah,” Tony sighs. 

He turns his head down and stares at his hands, the scars on his knuckles and calluses on his palms. Shawn grabs one, interlocking their fingers. His hand is unblemished, healed. The scar on the back of his wrist from the time DUM-E grabbed a blowtorch instead of an extinguisher is gone.

“You don’t have to forgive them,” Shawn finally says. 

“Do you think I should?”

“Forgiveness isn’t necessary to work together. Not even to be friends, really. Lassie never forgives me for anything, but he accepts it. We work well together even if he’d rather arrest me than the criminal 90% of the time.”

“You and Carlton are friends,” Tony points out, frowning.

Shawn shrugs and twists so that he can lay his head in Tony’s lap. Tony automatically starts running a hand through his hair, a little surprised to find that he hadn’t bothered with styling product today.

“And he couldn’t even admit that much until this year. And even then, just to Gus, not my face.”

Tony hums. Carlton and Shawn have a strange relationship, even to him, and he’s never had a normal relationship in his entire life.

“Besides, Nat and Steve  _ want _ to be your friends. They regret what they did, granted the Spider more so than Spangles. But…” Shawn trails off, tilting his head back further to catch Tony’s eye for the first time. “I know you’re hurt, sweetheart. I know you had started trusting them, that you value their friendship. I want you to be  _ happy _ . Forgive them or don’t. But don’t make yourself miserable trying to blame yourself for them being careless.”

Tony closes his eyes against the stinging in his eyes, feeling the tears spill on his cheeks. He leans down and kisses Shawn’s forehead, skin dry and warm beneath his lips. Shawn’s hair gets only a little wet, but he doesn’t say anything.

It’s a long moment before either of them move, and even then it’s only so that Tony can lay down too, matching Shawn’s position with one leg dangling over the ledge and heads twisted to look at one another.

Shawn grins, wide and beautiful, and Tony’s heart  _ seizes _ with how much he loves this man. 

“Does it still count as a Spider-Man kiss if we’re laying down?”

Tony laughs, tears dried and forgotten. That video had been making the rounds for weeks now; New York’s newest superhero planting one on a ‘mystery girl’ hanging upside down in the rain. Tony and Shawn had started keeping tabs on the kid, but hadn’t reached out yet.

“Close enough,” Tony breathes against Shawn’s lips. 

The kiss is dry and soft and borne of years and years of love and familiarity. Shawn reaches up to toy with the hair at the nape of Tony’s neck after they part.

“I think me and Nat will be okay,” Tony says. “She’s… she at least  _ understands _ what she did, can guess at why she did it. I suspect that psych eval won’t be 100% right because she’s about as likely as I am to be completely honest with any medical professional, but I think SWORD will be good for her. The lack of secrecy and extra oversight will be a refreshing change of pace.”

Shawn hums. 

“Steve, though…” Tony’s mouth twists. “God, I grew up on stories about him. Dad  _ so badly _ wanted to find him, hated that I couldn’t be him. I idolized him and hated him at the same time.” Tony pauses, and Shawn’s hand moves to his cheek, touch featherlight and warm. “He’s so young and he’s lost everything and then he had this massive responsibility put on his shoulders that he was in no way prepared for but everyone insisted he was.”

“Sounds familiar,” Shawn says.

Tony wrinkles his nose. “I’m not… I’m not  _ anything _ like Captain America.”

“No, you’re much smarter and wealthier and prettier,” Shawn says easily. “But you’ve got to admit that there’s a few parallels from your younger years.”

Tony laughs, just a little, and smiles. “I guess I’m just disappointed that  _ Captain America _ is just a person, just like me. That he does stupid, rash, dangerous things because he’s scared. That he really is just a kid from Brooklyn.”

“Maybe he needs to be reminded of that,” Shawn says. “It’s easy to buy into your own legend when nobody tells you differently.”

“You think he’ll accept my offer?”

“I think he’ll follow Nat’s lead. She’s the only person he trusts at this point, wrong or right.”

Tony turns to look up at the stars. There’s only one or two visible through the clouds and the light pollution, but he knows they’re there. He finds the knowledge comforting tonight rather than terrifying.

“He’ll need some actual therapy, though, once we can convince him that psychiatrists aren’t torturing people and that mental healthcare is a real thing,” Shawn adds. 

Shawn’s supposed to go back to Santa Barbara. He hasn’t, though, and Tony hasn’t asked yet. 

A soft touch on Tony’s cheek. He turns his head to see Shawn looking at him a little sadly, hand curled under his head.

“It’s not forever, sweetheart,” Shawn says.

The knot in Tony’s chest is entirely gone, just loose tendrils of untethered emotions floating gently around his heart.

Because the thing is -- he believes Shawn. Doesn’t even just  _ believe  _ him, knows it to be true. It’s been nearly twenty years of the two of them coming together and drifting apart, and these days the times apart are shorter than the times together.

_ Ping. _

_ These days we’re connected at more than just the hip _ .

Tony smiles and leans in, pressing his forehead against Shawn’s. 

“Does this mean you’re willing to try telepathic sex?”

Shawn’s belly laugh nearly sends them both tumbling over the edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end of my CAW AU! considering continuing this into later movies but we'll see

**Author's Note:**

> Long time, no see!
> 
> Sudden burst of inspiration after watching the Infinity War trailer and a long, long, long period of writer's block on the multiple other works I've got going. There's more to this story, too, so keep your eyes open.
> 
> Reviews and kudos are appreciated, as always. You guys are the best.


End file.
